Catch up

I'm not sure that I know where to start. So many things in the past few months, I hope I can recount them.

The change that I've felt in the last few months is such a blessing from the Lord. I've felt his hand in my life as I struggle with adversity. I've felt grief which I bear be supported with His help. Honestly, the spirit has been in abundance in our lives and I'm not really sure why. I can say that I've tried so hard to live up to my potential and fallen so very short. But, the Lord seems to be pushing me along, my faults and all.

I want so badly to serve like I did on my mission. It was in my daily prayers for about my whole mission. I'd pray something like, "please bless that my life will be blessed with the opportunity to serve like this, after my mission is finished." I hope and pray that one I day we can again fully consecrate my life to the Lord.

You are the one. You have been chosen to represent a whole lineage of ancestry regarding your heritage. My patriarchal blessing talks about this. My Dad says that is why I'm his Idol. I've held resentment in the past towards this principle of Family and Heritage. Both sides of my family are converts. I don't have Grandparents that have the solid faith of the Gospel. I don't have a shining example of a Father that is strict in observing the covenants that he has made. But, I love and respect him for what he has done with the little he has been given. He has been converted and does not shy from his testimony. The life which he was given, he has definitely done the best according to his knowledge and understanding. I see his downfalls, justifications and edge. You on the other hand, have a greater knowledge and brighter understanding. You can't deny the experiences and spiritual manifestations in your life. Therefore, are held to the same understanding. "Where much is given, much is required."

Many are called but few are chosen and why are they not chosen? Because the aspire to the honors of men. I believe I have been called to represent my Heritage. To link my ancestry to the Gospel. What an honor and privilege. It is a complete paradigm shift to my attitude almost my whole life. I always questioned, Why? Why does my blood not trace back to the early pioneers of the church? Why didn't my ancestor defend the Prophet Joseph to the death? I can imagine the faith building stories and sense of pride I would have knowing and drawing on the past. I'm so grateful for my wife and her heritage and that my kids do have that literal pioneer blood. God permitted me to marry one of His angels and I am grateful. My lot in life is not one of spiritual ease. I've learned by sad experience and on my own. I'm so grateful for the Jesus who paved the way himself, that I may know where to look for answers. But, I can be chosen to represent an entire lineage not converted to the Gospel. Can you imagine the afterlife and celebration? Your entire heritage linked by your effort. The work was literally just done for my immediate ancestry. And now I have the opportunity to give them the chance to accept the Gospel.

While the Temple I felt a special bond to one Pieter Jan VanSteenkiste. As I proceeded in the initiatory, one of the Patrons stopped me mid sentence and said, "I feel impressed to ask you to come and work in the Temple. You belong here. You need to be here. Now go talk to your Bishop and get it done."

Today we attended the Gila Valley temple dedication at our Stake building. What an awesome experience!!! President Erying gave a compelling talk about linking the hearts of our children to their fathers. We participated in the Hosana shout after President Monson dedicated the building. My previous thoughts of my ancestry were running through my mind.

Currently there is no temple in Belgium and 5000 members. You have blessed with a special heritage that will burn with in you as you continue to do the work of the Lord. Could I literally fulfill Elijah's prophecy and turn my heart to my literal Fathers in Belgium? Could I do their work and also help those that are living now? I believe this may be my calling as my patriarchal blessing has stated. I'd love to be able to write a check for a substantial amount of money to build a temple for my ancestors. Could you imagine the rejoicing of my literal lineage if this happened? I pray that we are blessed financially to be able to serve in the capacity the Lord sees fit.

Sick...

Today is Sunday and I'm constantly having that "I'm gonna barf" feeling. I can't imagine Sarah and being pregnant. No thanks. Anyway, thought that this thing would pass but I'm just laying in bed feeling like crap. Payt and Syd are home too. However, the bug obviously passed through quick because they are racing on the skitters outside. I wish I had an adult skitter to race them with. :)

Where is Heaven?

Syd- Above us, WAY up above us. Way high in the sky.

Payt- Whose Heaven? Up there.

Internet

The internet here at the house is a joke. I've had to post some journal entries in my planner. Anyway, life has been nuts for me. I've been pulled in every direction it seems. Can't sleep at night and have crazy anxiety. I guess that has just come to be the norm lately. Busy day today with work. Hopefully things will start to slow down a bit.

Edge

I'm a little on edge as of late. Probably because I'm out of my comfort zone with everyone in town. J & A are here and we are having a great time. Boys are playing hard. Celebrated Jared's bday last night. Went to Mastro's, legit. Todd & Ashley, James & Kristine came. We had a good night. Hope my shoulder starts feeling better, really hurting right now. Bunkers are pregnant, what a blessing!! So happy for them.

I'm tired of work lately, constantly have this struggle. Hopefully i'll get direction.

Wordy...

I guess I have a hard time with this journal thing because I have a real disdain for wordy people. Steve can talk to me for an hour and accomplish ZERO. Tact, I have little. Patience, I have little. Probably need to work in those areas.

Sarah called out my self control the past couple of days. Totally agree with her and need to work on it. It is a principle in all aspects of our lives we need to exercise. Diet, pride, lust, the list goes on & on. Reading about Agency today in 2 Nephi 2. Ironically our little bet coincides with this chapter. We are free to choose for ourselves "according to the flesh" life or death. There is an opposition in all things! That means when I'm starving that D....A....M....N peanut butter cookies will be in the pantry. That means when I'm feeling in shape & trim, I'll mess up my shoulder. Means when our marriage is great, there will be trials. It means when I think work is going great, it will turn on me quickly. Thank goodness for Jesus & the Atonement. He can understand us. I kind of like the born again vibe....we could use a little more of that in our faith. It sure makes Jesus more personable. However, moderation in all things right. If I flopped around on the ground like the Evanhelicos in Venezuela (speaking in the name of Jesus), our elder brother would probably want to give me a swift kick to the butt, or be crying with laugher at my shenanigans.

Dreams

I thought that I'd take a moment and record a few dreams that I've had lately. My anxiety level has been high regarding our the situation with our home. I suppose these are the trials that we need to go through and I'm trying to do everything in my power to overcome them. At times I may be running to too hard and relying less on the Lord. I know he is the only way I can overcome my problems. At the end of the day, I want the Lord to know I did everything according to my knowledge to help my situation. I find that personally he increases that knowledge and our problems seem to dissipate. Other times, things just seem to fall into place. Not without much struggle I might ad.

Starting the BOM over again and found this scripture particularly interesting given our current situation. 1 Nephi 7:12:

12 Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all ^athings according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise ^bfaith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him.

That hit me as a direct answer to my prayers. I think it is our challenge to accept the Lords will even when I doesn't coincide with ours.

Anyway, the dreams. Not sure if I have a flare for the dramatic (Sydney sure does), or I just like to tell a story. But these dreams, one good and one bad, left my heart racing and wide eyed at about 3:30 in the morning.

A few weeks ago I had a dream that seemed very specific at the time, but now escapes my memory. It took place somewhere on a mission. It seemed like it was me against the world. I was trying to so hard to carry someone from one place to another. Suddenly three unseen powers knocked me down and started to taunt me. Everything I tried to do failed. I tried to fight, I tried to cast them out, I tried everything to protect me and this person. Sarah told me that I audibly yelled out in my sleep what at the time was a desperation plea for help. My thought was to laugh to change the spirit. This seemed to brighten everything around me and then I guess I was thrashing around in bed so much that woke myself up. The thought that kept running through my head was that on that specific night, evil forces were combining somewhere in the world. I felt specifically that somehow that meeting would affect me, some way, somehow. I hope I can be prepared and live to combat those assaults that may come against me.

Second, I had a specific dream that I was alive for the Second Coming. The dream was vague, we were with some friends of ours that were not of the same faith. We knew he was coming. I woke a little scared. I'm not prepared to meet my Savior yet. It frightened me. Scriptures in Alma 5 kept running through my head:

28 Behold, are ye stripped of ^apride? I say unto you, if ye are not ye are not prepared to meet God. Behold ye must prepare quickly; for the kingdom of heaven is soon at hand, and such an one hath not eternal life.

I hope that I can be prepared.

Come unto Christ

Optimism

My son is quite competitive. Not sure where he gets it, it must be from his Mom. One day I showed up late to a T-ball game he had. As I walked by him his team was in the field. I sat down on the third base line and asked, "buddy how are we doing?" He said that Dad were only behind 13-0. Payt you don't seemed too discouraged that you are losing so bad. He said Dad, "Why would we be discouraged, we haven't even been up to bat yet!" Through our children we can learn valuable lessons. That lesson of Optimism is same I'd like to speak on today.

Brothers and Sisters today we live in troubled times. The anxiety & heartache of the daily situations we find ourselves are very heavy. My message today is one of Hope, Faith and Optimism. The hope, faith and optimism we can find only through Jesus Christ and His Gospel. I know of no other way for us to succeed or to be safe amid life’s many pitfalls and problems. I know of no other way for us to carry our burdens, but through Jesus Christ.

He said it in the beginning of His ministry, and He said it in the end. He said it to believers, and He said it to people who were not so sure. He said to everyone, whatever their personal problems might be:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls

In this promise, that first phrase, “come unto me,” is crucial. It is the key to the peace and rest we seek.

Moroni gives us a wake-up call with his last words. (Moroni 10:24). His message is direct, clear, and unapologetic: Awake, come unto Christ, deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and I’ll see you at the judgment bar (Moroni 10:31–34).

So how does one “come unto Christ” in response to this constant invitation?

Surf Story.

We searched and searched for this famed surf spot. To our disapointment, we could see what the people had talked about. Disappointed that our efforts resulted in only a long walk, we headed back up the jungle path. The next day to our surprise there was a local surf competition not 50 feet from where we had walked.

We were in the right place, we had done what we had been told. But, our eyes had not been opened. We couldn’t see what was so plainly in our site.

Brothers and Sisters, sometimes I feel that life is the same way. We feel like we are doing the right things, we obey directions and work hard towards a certain outcome. Only to fall short because we did not have someone there to bridge the gap. I'd like to suggest three simple things that if applied, will let Christ into our lives and help us bridge the spiritual gaps we may have.

One:

The easiest comes simply with the DESIRE of our heart, the most basic form of faith that we know.

Alma says, “If ye can no more than desire to believe,”exercising just “a particle of faith,” giving even a small place for the promises of God to find a home—that is enough to begin. That simple step is the first step out of despair.

Second, we must change.

We must change anything we can that may be part of the problem. I’m certain not everything we struggle with is a result of our actions. Often it is the result of the actions of others, or just the mortal events of life. But anything we can change we should change, and we must forgive the rest. In this way we access the Savior’s Atonement and He will take it from there.

As a young missionary in Venezuela, I had an experience that embodies both Faith and repentance. On a hot afternoon and after much rejection we felt impressed to walk down a specific street.

Let me read an excerpt from my mission journal: Well I found my mission bound boyz!! We felt impressed to track a certain street and we found these young men. Each of them have definetley had troubled pasts. Yonny’s parents died when he was young and he is one of the strongest people I’ve met. He has battled adversity from a very young age. Danny and Eduanil also have had it rough. However, I've never found 3 teenagers more interested in learning the Gospel. They ask well thought out questions and are definitely chosen of the Lord. These kids have a Great desire to serve the Lord. They were bound to serve missions, I just know it. I'm so glad the Lord blessed us with the opportunity to find them.”

What is interesting to note, is I spoke from this same pulpit 11 years ago about their wonderful conversion. Update on them Danny Yonny y Eduanil. All three served wonderful missions and were married in the Temple. Currently, Eduanil is the Stake Young Mens President, Danny is a branch President in a small town outside the City and Yonny has been the Bishop for the past 3 years in the same ward which he was baptized in.

Third, in as many ways as possible we try to take upon us His identity and name.

That name is formally bestowed by covenant in the saving ordinances of the gospel. Starting with baptism and concluding with temple covenants. With many others, such as partaking of the sacrament and baptisms for the dead, as additional blessings and reminders.

There is NO better way to Come unto Christ, than to partake of His blessings in His holy house.

Following these most basic principles will open up our lives to Christ. We will fee of his love and Atonement in our lives.

I testify that the Savior’s Atonement lifts from us not only the burden of our sins but also the burden of our disappointments and sorrows, our heartaches and our despair. Thinking about the great cost of the Atonement, I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now.

When He says to the poor in spirit, “Come unto me,” He means He knows the way out, He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way.

If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened.

See It Through

by Edgar A. Guest

When you're up against a trouble,
Meet it squarely, face to face;
Lift your chin and set your shoulders,
Plant your feet and take a brace.
When it's vain to try to dodge it,
Do the best that you can do;
You may fail, but you may conquer,
See it through!

Black may be the clouds about you
And your future may seem grim,
But don't let your nerve desert you;
Keep yourself in fighting trim.
If the worse is bound to happen,
Spite of all that you can do,
Running from it will not save you,
See it through!

Even hope may seem but futile,
When with troubles you're beset,
But remember you are facing
Just what other men have met.
You may fail, but fall still fighting;
Don't give up, whate'er you do;
Eyes front, head high to the finish.
See it through! I know that Christ in the personal to help us “See it through”. He is the person that will bridge the spiritual gaps in our lives. He is in the details of your lives. He is mindful of our daily struggles. He loves us and will support us through our trials.